By: GeoDuck

“Urgh….”

“Come on, you big green loaf! You need to get up! The cattle! They’re gone!”

The green dragon just rolled over in an attempt to get back to sleep. “They are probably just off in a corner somewhere, I’m sure of it.” He said before yawning.

The middle aged dragonette woman stomped her foot, “NO STEIGER! They’ve escaped! There is a gap in the fence nearly the size of you! We need to find them! They could be anywhere by now!”

The dragon’s eyes shot open, “Shit! That’s bad.” He rolled onto his feet and shot up, banging his head against a rafter in the process. “OUCH! Fuck that stings.” He shook his head trying to regain his composure.

“Go on, see for yourself! They are gone! They flew the coup!” Sure enough as he marched outside into the mist of the very early morning there was not a single cow within sight.

“Damnit! Hop on! We’ll have a better chance of spotting them from the sky.” The short woman hopped on his back and held on tightly. He immediately began taking bounding strides before spreading his wings and with a few forceful wing beats his legs left the ground as he rose into the air rapidly.

As they flew over the city, she peered over the side. “Uh oh, we got a few taking a bath!”

“I see ‘em!” He shouted as he fell into a dive, landing in the courtyard below. Three cows were bathing in the fountain. “Wrassle ‘em Vitara!” He cried out.

She leapt from his back with a rope in hand. While she handled wrangling the cows he moved to keep them from running. “Oh no you don’t!” she yelled “Gotcha you slippery bastards!” She tied them all together and Steiger hoisted them into the air.

“Three down… nearly twenty more to go.” He dropped them into the fenced in farm land, before taking off again he lifted up the fallen fence and shoved it back into place. “That ought to hold you while I’m gone!”

Flying over the city once more they spotted a couple cows running through a main road. “Oh Fuck, Think you can snatch them up Sty?” She asked with a bit of worry.

“You kidding? If I couldn’t catch my own cows I shouldn’t be able to own them!” He announced as he began diving directly on top of the two panicked bovine. The main street was wide enough to let a dragon land in it, but it was a bit tight for actual flying.

As he dove, he was blinded by a clothesline draped in white clothes. He clamped down on where he thought the cows were, but couldn’t shake the clothes from his eyes. “YOU MISSED HOW COULD YOU MISS THEY WERE THREE FEET IN FRONT OF YOU!” a very angry man shouted. Vitara pulled the clothes away and revealed that he had picked up a dragonette instead.

Abashedly he let him fly away before swooping down on the beasts a second time, capturing both of them in his grsp. “See? I’ve got this!”

It was a long and arduous task but they had finally recaptured all the escaped cows, “Except for one” Vitara said.

“WHAT!? How could we miss one! We searched the whole city! My wings are getting sore from carrying all these fat asses.” He whimpered.

“It’s just a calf, nothing to worry about. We just need to fly over one more time until we find it. Okay?” she said while placing a hand on his cheek.

He huffed and air rushed past her face, “Alright, let’s get this over with. I wanna go to bed.”

After flying through the city one final time they found the calf running through a smaller street, it was just small enough to stop Steiger from just swooping down on it. But Vitara could do it.

She plummeted to the ground below before flaring out her wings and skimming above the rooftops. She touched down in front of the calf, spooking it into a nearby porcelain store. The elderly woman behind the counter shrieked as the beast kicked and jumped through, smashing every piece of dining equipment it could.

Vitara eventually roped it with a well placed lasso, and stopped it from causing anymore damage. “Sorry ma’am, somebody’s cattle got loose and we’ve been trying to catch them all.”

The old lady didn’t even acknowledge her, instead she just wept “My porcelain collection, It’s ruined!”

“And we will make sure that the people responsible for this pay for the damages ma’am!” She said while carrying the young calf outside. As Steiger flew overhead she tossed the rope to him and took off after him.

“Woohoo! I cant believe we got ‘em all! All of our cows are back on the farm! Whoo!” He cheered, loud enough for almost anyone on the ground to hear. Vitara flew up beside him and started shushing him immediately.

“We need to go and stop yelling! We really need to go!” Steiger shot her a confused look before he caught a glimpse of the old woman on the ground alerting two guardsmen.

“You’re right, you’re absolutely right!” He said with panic. “This whole day has been full of bullshit from the start” He grumbled.